Things I now for sure!

1) If you want to feel better about yourself, join Facebook. You will soon realise how messed up some people’s lives are and you will feel 100 times better about your crappy situation! Just make sure you have popcorn, the drama you are about to encounter is THAT good!

 2) That being said, if you want to feel worse about yourself, join Facebook. Nothing will depress you faster than seeing how amazingly lavish your school buddies are living while you are stuck in your dead-end job. Even if they have 400 children and a cheating husband they will somehow make it seem like that is the life to be living. Don’t feel bad that you are a 27 year old woman with no children or husband living with your mother and you don’t have a house on your name yet. I mean for example now.  

3) If you want to feel all warm and happy inside. Don’t get a boyfriend. Get a dog. Nothing will make you happier than a puppy will. 

 

See? Looking at these pics, don't you feel happier already?

 4) Exercise makes you feel energised… funny how that works hey? You go to the gym for a work out and you end up feeling more energised, yet you sit at work for 8 hours and you’re exhausted by the end of your day.

5) Friends will come and go, but boyfriends are forever! Psyche! Sadly, they both come and go. The trick is finding friends very early on in your life so that by the time they grow up and realise you are a horrible person they are stuck with you. I met my best friend, Ziningi, when I was 5. I have so much dirt on her from the first few years of our friendship, that she wouldn’t dare leave me now! 

6) Nothing will make you feel older than going to a night club in your late 20’s. Geez, forget the night club, the fact that I just mentioned that I am in my late twenties makes me feel old. 

7) A good hair day will make you feel like the sexiest woman on earth! Even if you are wearing granny panties! 

8) Traveling internationally is a bug! And it does bite! Its a good bite though. It makes you want to see more and experience different things. Makes you excited to interact with people from different cultures and backgrounds and try their cuisine. I think the government should subsidise international travel at least once in a person's life. (Problem may come in where once we've left S.A we wouldn't want to come back home)

9) Crying at night makes you look ugly in the morning! If you can avoid it, try not to cry yourself to sleep. Actually, crying anytime in the day makes you look ugly. Your eyes go all red and your nose starts running. (It's like your eyes and nose are in competition to see who can excrete the most fluids) Im planning on having my tear ducts removed for this very reason. Girl needs to look her best at all times. Aint nobody got time for tears!

This is what you look like to others while crying! 

Funny enough, having a good cry is sometimes all you need to feel better again. Ok, so maybe ignore what I said about not crying, just remember not to cry yourself to sleep at night. 

Don't let any-one tell you they look cute when they cry! It's not possible!

 10) You will not get along with everyone you meet! Sadly, as nice as you are and as kind-hearted as you may be, not everyone is going to like you. The trick is not to let it get to you. And this seriously is a trick... something you will need to learn. There will forever be people who will not like your personality and your face and your dress sense... and thats fine. They are entitled to their opinion. Even if their opinion is wrong! *insert Jacob Zuma laugh here* It used to bug me when people disliked me, even if I hated them they needed to like me. Why? Because I am so likeable DAMNIT! Then I grew up I suppose, and now when I encounter people who dislike me based on things they believe to be true (which isn't) I stick my imaginary middle finger up and shrug it off! When people dislike me for a valid reason, I still give them my imaginary middle finger! You cannot please every-one you meet... you are not chocolate!

Sooo... that's me. Those are the things I know for sure. So you see, being in your late 20's isn't that bad you learn things. I also have a list of things I don't know for sure... and yes, that list is a lot longer!

Love at first sight

Do you believe in love at first sight? You know how Hollywood makes us believe that boy sees girl from across the room and immediately sparks fly and they fall in love. The rest of the movie is spent showing the trials the two of them go through trying to be together. Even Disney has been fooling little girls into believing this nonsense. Lets take Ariel from the little mermaid for example, or even Sleeping beauty. The prince see's the sleeping princess and instantly falls in love. Pffft, please!!!  I don’t believe in that nonsense! I mean, I didn’t even fall in love with Warren immediately and I think our meeting was pretty "Hollywood-esque" I thought he was cute and all, but it took a while for me to actually fall in love with him. I do think however, that he may have fallen for me immediately he often lets it slip that he was smitten from our first meeting, but obviously he will never admit this, its ok though… I know the truth ;) 

This past week however, I fell in love. I mean head over heels in love… at first sight even! With who you ask? My niece! I met her for the first time and it was instantaneous!  To all my mommy friends out there, I GET IT! I FINALLY GET IT! 

I shall no longer roll my eyes at you when you speak about your little babies and how you love this little person with all your heart and how you could just watch them sleep for hours on end. I shall no longer grunt at you when you speak about how clever your little ones are. I shall no longer drift off into space when you go on about the cute things are saying and doing because I feel like I have been given a small glimpse into this club you guys belong too. 

I should probably clarify that my sister did not have a baby, she is only 17, so it will be a long time before she makes me an aunty (I hope). My cousin, who is like my sister had a baby 10 months ago, and as much as I have been trying to go up to see them I didn't put much effort into seeing the baby as I believe that when they are small they are kind of useless. All they do is eat, sleep and poop! Don't get me wrong, they are very cute while they eat, sleep and poop, but it's kind of a waste for me to go all they way to Johannesburg just to see her eat, sleep and poop. I think I chose the right time to visit her, as she is starting to walk and talk, only thing is now I am really sad that I didn't make the effort sooner! 

I arrived in Johannesburg late on Tuesday evening, and even though she should have been sleeping by the time I got there, she wasn't. When I walked into the room, she smiled at me and my heart immediately melted! I'm talking ice block on a hot pavement kind of melting! She has these big brown eyes that look into your soul! I cant describe it... it was just love! 

She slept in the middle of her mom and I that evening and I swear I got very little sleep. I was so scared to move as I thought I might roll onto her and squish her, so I practically slept on my back the whole evening. That morning when her mom left for work it was just the two of us in bed and even though there was more space now, I was paranoid because now I was scared that she would roll off the bed and onto the floor. (even though there were pillows placed specifically to prevent this.) Then when I would doze off, I would wake up suddenly as I couldn't hear her breathe. "Why cant I hear her breathe? I've heard of cases where kids stop breathing in their sleep." And so the cycle would go round and round till eventually she woke up and then I was forced to stay awake.

As much as I loved being with her, looking after a baby is hard work! Damn! After the first day I was exhausted! Like proper exhausted! They are like worms, always moving, never sitting still. I tried giving her a bath. The bathing part was easy, it was the whole process after the bath that got me stumped! She loves the water, she hates being taken out of the water. By the time she was dressed and ready both of us were in tears. My tears were from frustration as I just could not get her to sit still long enough for me to dry her and get her dressed. Her tears were probably because she was freezing cold and knew this aunty didn't have a clue as to what she was doing! 

Also, did you know that when babies eat there is usually a mess? Have you ever tried putting porridge in the hole of a straw? That is what it was like feeding her.


All in all I had the most fun spending time with her, but if I have to be very honest with myself, I don't think I am ready to have one yet. I like the idea of having a baby, but the reality is very, very different.If I do end up having a baby it would probably be because Warren looks so sexy handling a baby, (there really is nothing sexier than a man and a baby together.) but even the fact that he gets along well with babies is not enough for me to give up on my sleep... and sanity.