South Africa to Thailand. Day 4.

We were up early, dressed and ready to head over to Phuket.

Phuket is a short 1 hour 25 minute flight from Bangkok. We booked an early flight to Phuket, so that we could spend more time at the beach. (We were told that there was more to do in Phuket than there was in Bangkok, especially where our hotel was situated – Patong Beach)

The Baiyoke Sky hotel  offered a free shuttle service from the hotel to the train station. Remember the train station is only a few hundred metres away from the hotel, but with the shopping we had done the day before our suitcases were a bit heavier than when we landed.

We got to concierge and was taken to the parking lot where we would be transported to the train station… in a GOLF CART!!! We drove through the streets of Bangkok in A GOLF CART! Have you ever in your life? It was very funny! I think we could have walked there faster. Once again, the smell that hits you so early in the morning is really something you need  to experience to understand what I’m  talking about.

I wish I could tell you how beautiful Phuket is from the sky as we were landing, but I was passed out in the plane. I hear its really stunning though, with its crystal clear turquoise water.

Our lodge was an hour away from the airport, a long drive through Phuket. Everything amazed me. From the traffic lights that count down your wait at the red light to the 4 adults all seated on 1 scooter! 

That afternoon our plan was to get something to eat, (because, yes, you guessed it I was starving again. I wasn’t up to having something local, so we opted for Burger King. I’m so ashamed of myself) and get a lay of the land. We walked around for hours, checked out the restaurants, the stalls, the food markets, the massage parlours etc.

Warren did most of his gift shopping that day, I just bought a few odds and ends. I was bored after a few hours and was ready to do something abit more fun. Because I was so well behaved while the adult was shopping I was treated to a “fish spa”. 

You sit with your feet in a tank and these little fish attach themselves to your feet and calves and eat all your dead skin. It’s the weirdest and most ticklish feeling in the world. After that we had a proper Thai foot massage. I am very ticklish on my feet and it literally took all my effort not to kick her in the face accidentally.

As we were sitting, getting our feet massaged it started pouring with rain! And both Warren and I were wearing flip flops. What a waste! 

We got back to the hotel, dried up, had something to eat (I was hungry again) and then made our way to Bangla Road!

Bangla Road is an experience all on its own. It is a long road, filled with clubs, pubs and restaurants. The vibe is amazing! It is loud and colourful and so very busy!

We bumped into some “lady boys” - that’s what the locals call them. We took pictures with some of them, only to be charged to pose with them! They charge you to use your own camera to take a picture! What madness is this?

We also bumped into a lady who was promoting a “ping pong show”. I hope you’re sitting, because what I’m about to tell you is going to sound like madness. Almost as crazy as paying some-one to pose with you.

Before we left for Thailand, I had done some research on these “ping pong shows” that are so famous in Thailand. I read that Rihanna went to one and was so disgusted by what she had seen!(she tweeted her experience) Now let me tell you something, if my girl RiRi says it was disgusting, or “too much” for her to handle, then shit, it must really be bad! But I was curious, so we followed the lady who took us to the show.

Before entering you are briefed: No cameras or cell phones are to be used while you are there, if you need to take a call you have to go outside. Your entry is free, however you need to buy a drink upon arrival. All of this seemed like relatively easy requests to meet. Tension was building and I just wanted this woman to stop talking so that I could go inside and have my mind blown. It was! I wasn’t even seated yet and already I was stumbling over my seat as I saw what was happening on stage!

*If you are a sensitive reader, I suggest you stop reading now as the rest is not for you. *

The lady gives you a menu, from which you can choose your drinks. In South African rands, one 250ml redbull works out to R300!!!!! A tequila shooter? R400! A juice, with no alcohol? R300! This was the most expensive drink of my life. And possibly the smallest as well. Then the woman has a nerve to still ask for a tip! I wanted to be sarcastic and give her tip like : Invest in real estate, but clearly the real tip was – work for a “ping pong show”. I swore at her in Afrikaans and she responded with Dankie! Hahaha my heart dropped, but nah she didn’t understand me, it was just one of the small words she picked up by working with South Africans.

Ok, ok back to the show. So this woman comes out on stage with a bra and no panty. She walks around in a circle, puts her hand by her “hoo-ha” and pulls out a BUDGIE!!!!! A bird! She pulls out a bird from her vagina! She sticks it back in and pulls it out again. That poor bird man!

Next lady comes out with a small fish bowl filled with water. Next thing you see she puts the bowl underneath her and out comes like 10 gold fish! Im not even lying to you! Gold fish! The previous lady comes out with a glass of water and one by one she pulls out little turtles and places them in the glass! 3 turtles later and the glass has been filled. Amongst the performers, we saw a lady place a cigarette between her legs, light it then proceed to smoke it through her… you know what. Another woman handed out balloons and then shot out darts which popped them. Her aim was incredible! Oh, and ofcourse there was the obvious ping pong. She squeezes the ball out, it bounces on the stage and into a glass of water. Again, I was most surprised by her aim. She would have been really good at netball I think.

After that, we walked back to our hotel and just could not stop talking about what we had just experienced. So much excitement that we only went to bed after 1am, we had an early start the next morning, I knew I was going to feel like death!

South Africa to Thailand. Day 3.

WAKE UP!! WAKE UP!! WE OVERSLEPT!!
That was the first thing I said to Warren when we woke up on day 3. We didn’t really oversleep, but I needed him to get up and get up fast. (we woke up later than was planned, but nothing to get excited about.)
For some reason we were starving when we woke, clearly that squid didn’t do much to keep me full for long.

We headed up to the 78th floor for breakfast, which was an international buffet. I love Buffets, all you can eat and the food stretches forever.
I was drawn to the Thai section of the buffet. I had some weird soupy broth thing with meatballs and noodles in. I didn’t know at the time that you are to add your own condiments to it, such as garlic, fish sauce, vinegar etc. so my broth was very bland. The next time I had this broth at a different place I watched the locals and copied them, so by the end of my trip I looked like I knew what I was doing.

After breakfast we headed to the 81st floor to the revolving deck to see the view below. This hotel is amazing...seriously amazing!

We headed back to the room to pack our bag for the day ahead, we had our route marked out on the map and were armed with bottles of water and comfortable walking shoes. (These malls were said to have 8 storeys, comfortable shoes were a must!)

There was a mall across from the hotel, (and I kid you not when I say this but it is called the "No Problem" mall.) so we decided to go see what this one had. Please note that from the outside it looked very small and run down, so we didn’t even think to add this to our itinerary, but out of curiosity we decided to go inside and see what it had in store for us.

We went into "No Problem" just before 12 and came out after 3!!!! 3 Hours in a mall we didn’t even plan on seeing! How did that happen? I'll tell you how it happened! It was deceiving, its 3 floors high and its huge, its stretches as far as the eye can see. I bought all my gifts there, I only had to purchase gifts for 3 people, but regardless, most of my shopping was done within 24hrs of reaching Thailand.

We found a little shop that did tours of Bangkok and decided to go see what we could do for the evening, because by this time I was starving and fed up of shopping. Unlike most girls, I’m really not one to spend hours upon hours in the malls. 3 hours were already too much for me. The tour operator had an evening dinner cruise that we decided to try. A two hour cruise down the Chao Phraya River (Thailand’s major River)

After booking our tour down the river, we headed back to No Problem for lunch and then back to the hotel to clean up and get ready for our dinner cruise.

The cruise was amazing, the weather was perfect and the food was divine. Once again, a buffet with all the food you could imagine. I over ate and felt really gross afterwards, but honestly that feeling didn’t last very long. One good burp and fart and I was sorted :)

One thing I learnt on this short cruise down the Chao Phraya river: If I thought Indians had no rhythm, Asians have even less! It was hillarious to watch. The guests on the boat did a better job of entertaining us than the musicians did.

 
After the cruise we went back to the hotel, packed our bags and got ready to head to Phuket the next morning! Now the fun starts as Phuket is like a holiday island... Just how much fun we would have was yet to be discovered. 

South Africa to Thailand. Day 2.

If I thought day 1 was bad, geez was I in for a surprise.

In Abu Dhabi at the boarding gates and the "waiting areas" are hundreds of seats for you to sit on and wait for your flight. (Pretty standard as all airports have said seats) However in Abu Dhabi, the seats have arms rests! This means that you cannot lie down across 3 or 4 seats, you are forced to sit upright for however many hours you are there and sleep sitting up!

I have a gift, I think I may have been born with it. I have the ability to fall asleep anywhere and at any given time - Small aeroplane seats, in a car, at my desk etc. I have however not attempted sleeping on these small seats siting upright. (Ok, lets just be honest I am never really sitting upright and sleeping. I am always using Warren as a pillow, leaning against him) I was close to making myself comfortable on the floor and curling up there for the night, but since we were not in South Africa, and after hearing how crazy strict Abu Dhabi's laws are i decided to rather not take the chance of pissing the locals off, so I didnt!

We found an area in the airport that have these "lawn chairs" it is reclined so you can actually have a few hours nap on there, thing is, the ratio of chairs to people were off. Long story short, we found a spot and had a few hours sleep. Not uninterrupted sleep, but it was sleep none-the-less.

Our flight to Bangkok the next morning was fairly uneventful, we were lucky that our flight was very empty so Warren and I had a 3 seater to ourselves. This gave us a chance to stretch out abit and act like we were in Business Class and not sitting cramped in Economy!

We arrived in Bangkok, and made our way to the hotel by train... like a local :) I was finally out of an airport!!! I was so excited to be in a foreign country I could squeal. And on a few occasions I actually did! 

When we got out at our station, I squealed again, but for a different reason. The place was so disgusting. And it smelt horrible! I was convinced we were in the slums of Bangkok. Our hotel was a few hundred metres from the station, so it was a quick walk with our suitcases to check in. 

We stayed at the Baiyoke Sky Hotel, it is the tallest building in Thailand boasting 81 storeys. Warren and  were on the 47th floor. We had a really big suite with an amazing view of the city below. 

A quick shower and change of clothes and we were off to explore the city below. There was a night market just outside our hotel so we didnt have to walk very far to get some Bangkok vibes. 

We spent the next two hours or so walking in and out of these small streets taking in the hustle and bustle of the night life. 

There were hundreds of stalls selling everything from clothes to appliances to fresh fruit and veggies. 

I tried some of the local cuisine which is prepared by a woman standing over a work area which is attached to her scooter. I ordered squid on a stick (well i think it was squid anyway) The texture was weird so it was fooling my mind into thinking it wasnt good, but it actually was. And it was soooo cheap, in our Rands it worked out to R6.33c

I didnt spend much money after that as we had a hectic day of shopping ahead of us. There are three malls in a 3km radius of our hotel. We planned on exploring them extensively!

A night in a real bed with real sheets and real pillows was all I could think about, so when we got in just after 12am it wasnt long until I was dreaming of the week ahead.... 

 

 

South Africa to Thailand. Day 1

Today was my first time out of South Africa (i know, im a late bloomer)
The picture i've imagined in my head of this "international travelling" is not as glamorous as i thought it would be.
Dont get me wrong, the shiny planes are very fancy, what, with their individual tv screens, with over 750 hours of onboard entertainment. (Yes i've read the brochures) I'm sure if i was travelling in first or business class my view would be slightly different, but like I said the flying itself is not so bad, its the landing and waiting for your next fight that gets to me.

*Side note: i was sitting infront of a young girl who constantly kicked the back of my seat, after many dirty looks i finally turned around and spoke to the mother. Words were exchanged, but soon after the kicking stopped*

We (Warren and I) landed in Abu Dhabi today after a guelling 9hrs of travel. While on the plane we heard that there is a lounge for economy class travellers (thats me). We proceeded directly to this lounge, with the intention of having a bite to eat and use the wifi, as we were only due to board our next flight to Thailand in 10hrs time.
When we get to the lounge we're told that the lounge is not free, you have to pay to use it... per hour! Works out to approximately R100 per hour. We passed on that option! Next to the lounge is the airport hotel, that costs around R2400 for the night. Once again, we passed. (I get the feeling they are trying to discourage pre-marital sex, as the room that sleeps 1 person was far cheaper than the room that sleeps 2.)

We were given meal vouchers from the airline for dinner and breakfast. This was a great help, but it didnt assist us with what we were going to do for the next 9hrs after supper.
We've walked around this massive airport, twice, had something to eat and have taken total advantage of the free wifi.

For once in my life i do not mind standing in these long ques as i have to go through security checks or wait for my food. Time is seriously dragging.
The selection for supper is sad. Im from South Africa, and this is my first time in a foreign land (well, foreign airport) i do not want McDonalds, Burger King or pizza, i want the stuff that the locals eat, i want the things i cannot pronounce! Give me culture damnit!

One last thing before i head off. When i was a kid and would fly from Cape Town to Durban to visit my family i would travel with my teddy bear, Edwina. My father gave her to me for my 1st birthday. Edwina was my travel companion. All i could think about before leaving was how badly i wanted to take Edwina with me. I feel kind of bad travelling internationally without her.
No need to comment, i am fully aware of how silly this sounds.

Thats it for now, i have another 6hrs left in this airport!